At the End


Yesterday I walked to the end.

I've been to the end of my rope a few times, so yesterday walking to the end of a lovely jetty was really a great experience. I'd done it before, but just felt like I wanted to yesterday.

I saw where I lived from a different perspective, from a direction not many bother to go and investigate. It's not far, about a kilometre to the end. There's seats there too and it's really a beautiful spot to go and have a think.  Lots of birds of all different kinds too. I met 2 couples walking dogs, one little one, and one big one called Troppo who was so excited about life.

I guess because it's been a few weeks of very rapid growth. Speed dating my demons I called it one day. Putting the feelings I have about someone with a particular name into perspective before I meet a new person who may share that name. I needed to reorganise my mind so that I didn't connect the two. So lots of introspection and lots of thinking, along with some photograph removal, some crockery smashing, some silver re-gifting and some hurling of jewellery into water.  Not off this jetty, so no metal detecting in the area will give you any trinkets I'm sorry.

It's been an interesting time and I wondered some days if my guardian angel as I call him was hiding his face, turning around or just groaning away in his new realm. I'm sure he groans a lot now he has all the knowledge and we're all fumbling in the dark looking for the light switch of life.

So I walked along this lovely jetty, saw no other life form than some birds until I got to the end of the jetty. I stood for a while and looked around. I like the mid-life techno I am sent out a snapchat to a few of my nearest and dearest and I took this photograph to remind me of my walk. I think to literally show myself how far I'd come. 

Then I saw it. Among all the etchings and scratchings of the monumentalist vandals of our era who want to record their existence on every wooden structure the public purse can pay for. Now my hair guardian angel had a very common name, but his surname wasn't so common. I'm sure he etched his name onto a few structures in his youth, but I doubt that this was one of his places he did it at.  

But yes, when I got to the end, there was his name etched.  The coincidence was enormous I know, and I'm not sure why I had to walk that pathway yesterday to find that scratched monogram yesterday, but it happened yesterday.  It felt oddly comfortable to have a physical reminder that at the end of our days, our friends, our guardian angels are literally waiting for us.

So I shall keep walking and remember "to thine ownself be true"

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