Love It

One of my posts recently was about my bedtime routine. Of overcoming physical pain in order to get to sleep. On the weekend I managed to open up a bit about my morning routine. A lot of things highlighted about parentification of children in a narcissistic household.  I say household as the word family isn't really accurate. So here is the routine.  Remember I wasn't an adult. I left this environment when I was 17 years old. This was from around 10 until 17.  If you're remembering back to Mum being up early doing things for you then I'm genuinely happy for you. Alarm clock goes off - 6am every day, but not really sure why I bothered as I always woke up before it.  This way I could get in the shower without risking anyone walking in. There was no privacy in the shower because apparently it was normal to have a chat. I didn't feel normal when that happened.  Comments about how big her waist was at that age always seemed to come out to reinforce my feeli...

Your mantra, repeated over and over, and always upheld by you in your life. Three years ago you left us all after finally finding something that could beat your spirit, and sadly it was your own health. The one thing we all take for granted, and the one thing we should never take for granted.  Without our health, our spirit falls and we can't get our head up to see the future.  Just what you went through three years ago.  To say we miss you, that our love has not decreased by even a minute amount is an understatement.  Every day you pop into our lives in some way to show us you are still nearby. The words though, they carry me onwards and upwards as you always used to say too.  When there are dark days, I just keep thinking I have to make up for the time you lost as well as what I want to achieve on my own as well.  There are so many things to do, so many good times to be had, and yet I still want to stop and just have quiet time on special days to r...