Love It

I don't think I've processed this much old thought for a long time. If ever. I've pushed and prodded all that nasty stuff so far to the back of my mind it's like cleaning out wardrobes of my mother's homes over the years. All the questions of "Why would anyone keep hold of that?" Except this time it's my thoughts and memories and questions I never thought I'd ask. Is this growing up? Is this midlife crisis? So for a few days I went away from the routine. Went into a whole new world. Then I came back. Sounds like a cryptic clue to a holiday doesn't it? Woke up today with the usual suspects of dogs and cats and wondered what to do today. I divided it up into 3 categories: Wants, Needs and Shoulds.  I'm not longer in a place in life where there are many "have to" sections. There's laundry to do, but I don't have to do it. There's cleaning to do but I won't die of sepsis if I don't do it. There's garden...

I'm needed. Not needy.  There's a huge difference. Let me explain. As a child of geriatric grandparents I was needed to fulfill domestic duties beyond their capabilities. A lost childhood in many ways.  With 70 years gap between me and my grandparents, there was a need to be a good girl, a need to pick things up, a need to clean and a need to garden.  I didn't resent this though, they were phenomenal people who paid me back a million times over in support and kindness. In practical terms too by teaching, guiding, training and making things for me. No regrets, just love. Then as the child of geriatric parents I had to undertake a whole pile of domestic duties. I was given a hand-drill for my 10th birthday by a  neighbour as he didn't feel it right I should be using power tools to undertake maintenance on the family home.  I got a sewing machine too.  Painting, sewing, cooking, cleaning and tidying up after those who either couldn't or wouldn't.  All...