Love It

 I was thinking recently of childhood memories of the Fremantle area in Western Australia. It was so normal to see older European women wearing black. In all seasons of the year. I asked about it once of my Grandmother who was Australian and of English descent. She explained to me that they wore black because they had lost someone dear to them. A death of a loved one bought out the black clothing for a year. I heard others say that they should stop doing it because it was old fashioned, and even because they smelled bad wearing black in the heat. That was the most ridiculous reason ever in my mind even as a child.  After the year I had in 2020 on a personal level I began to question why they would wear black for a year to show the world they were mourning. We have become so used to mourning being a private affair that we have lost sight of how helpful it is to show it publicly. These women weren't proud of it, they didn't wear it as a badge of honour, or to get sympathy. It wa...

So we've become the sandwich generation. The meat in the sandwich of a genetic luncheon platter. How? When did this happen? I had a deep and meaningful discussion with the ham to my cheese this morning. We talked about lots of funnies before hitting some serious stuff.  Sandwiches. You see we are children, but we are parents. These other generations are the bread that make the sandwich. They are both absorbed with what they need, what they are, and generally consumed with whether they are white, brown, 5 seed, rye, or gluten free! They can be thick, thin, toast, even rolls really. Yet, while they are consumed with themselves, without us what are they? A lump of substance that lacks strength, that can be sliced, torn, used to soak up the spillls, toasted or croutoned! They are not a sandwich. And now think of a sandwich. The variety, the flavour, it is almost a life force. You can live on sandwiches. 3 meals a day - a bacon and egg sarnie for breakfast, a smoked salmon, cre...

We all have photos of old rellies like this one.  My grandmother 2nd from the left, and her 3 sisters that she was very close to all her life.  I can say all her life, as she outlived every one of them, and 4 brothers and one baby, and her parents. Parents are part of the natural order, but you don't think of losing your brothers and sisters until you are very old, that is if you think about it at all.  At age 95, her last brother died and the final year of her life was very sad, she had outlasted them all in a race she didn't want to win.  She was an excellent athlete in her youth but this was a race that she didn't enter, and didn't think about until it was really too late.  Not that it would have changed anything, and with her  nature she would have voluntarily taken on the  mantle of grieving 7 siblings rather than have one of them do the same. This year, 2016, has seen most of the world suffer what she did.  Cumulative grieving.  I...

Alright, so I know I'm weird, but I get quite a thrill out of cleaning and organising stuff. In the past few months I have helped out family members with cleaning their homes to an empty, ready to move in state.  I am very proud that those of my own kids were remarkably easy, as they are all organised, clean individuals, and it was as smooth as silk. Then there was the one I wrote about previously that boggled the mind, curdled the gut contents and made you seriously wonder how people live in that way. That's when the OCD kicks in, the "I'm never going to be like that" mantra that I have carried over 4 decades.  But time isn't kind sometimes, and the way you actually want to live in a clean, pristine, carefully arranged environment just doesn't eventuate. Other times though, well, then it gets fun!  The spousal being departs for parts unknown to most of us, the localised offspring depart for fun and sun, the boarder retreats for fear of being asked...

I only just discovered this grey streak and it's kind of scary. I now bear more than a passing resemblance to Lily Munster! She had the coolest grey stripes in her hair.  And now I do too. These rapid onset solid grey stripes aren't the normal aging process though they are attached to a trauma.  Young people like me, being only 50 after all, get them.  I was quite surprised when I found 2 of them. I don't know why I'm surprised though.  The last 4 months have been a blur of change, challenge and confusion with a massive workload and little reward if I'm brutally honest.  I don't do things for reward, but when the tasks are huge, some small payout is a nice feeling that you got it right. First there was Emergency trip no. 1, followed by Emergency surgery no. 1.  Not major health issues just a discomfort for the loved one and some sleep deprivation for me. Then there came Emergency trip no. 2, followed by Emergency surgery no. 2.  They shared t...

This term conjures up all kinds of images of scones, jam, cream, chocolate cake, clean laundry, fresh smelling linen and preferably puppies roasting by an open fire. Yesterday I handed someone the keys of what was arguably the last family home that I had.  Well, my parent's home, my mothers home, as my dad died two decades ago. My first family home was a 3x1 in a Perth suburb, we had a dog and a cat.  Well a poodle, and an awesome cat to be honest.  Spot was a cool cat, my first rehomer special. The dog a poodle who bit me, and only liked my mother.  It had a pool that my dad spent endless hours cleaning, designing and maintaining when he was home.  There we some happy times, but they were overshadowed. It was a house of fog, you knew there was beauty there but it was hard to see. Then dad moved to his flat, which was only a few months, then to an aged care place.  Grandma moved two years later, and her little flat was truly a home.  It had the sm...

I swear, and I probably swear too much, but some times, some words I really and deeply mean it.  And this is one of those words and times where I swear through gritted teeth. Grief is a two faced, low life bitch.  The definition of a bitch in the dictionary is a malicious, spiteful, overbearing woman.  Malicious - nasty, cruel, harsh and intending to do harm. Spiteful -  cutting, straight to the heart kind of meanness.  Overbearing - oppressive, arrogant and masterful.  But why a woman?  Why not call it a man?  Because women give birth to new life and so does grief if we treat her right. You think you have dealt with her, put her in her place and finished with her til she rears her ugly head with a new death or new crisis in your world. But no, she's also sneaky & underhand!  She likes to sit quietly next to you on the couch at night.  Sometimes she's well mannered and let's you watch your programs, take part in conversation and ...