What conditions are on unconditional?
Today the day of love and romance. Of flowers, treats and special moments. I love Valentines Day. I really do. It’s rare I haven’t been treated like a queen on this day by the most amazing man in the world.
In my current introspection state of 2020, it is making me think deeper. In the shower of course. Most of my deepest thoughts are there because it was one of the few places I could think as a live at home junior adult/child. Not for long, but there were moments.
So unconditional love. I’ve heard it said by people who leave their partners within a relatively short time. I’ve heard it said followed by the word “but” which always negates everything before it. I’ve heard it said by someone I know didn’t mean it, thankfully not to me.
I have loved unconditionally and I do love unconditionally. I often say to my kids I love them totally. I like that word better. It says it all. There is no part of them I don’t love. I love their tempers, their faults, their likes, dislikes, their stages of life that are difficult for both of us. Unconditionally sounds to me like there are conditions but they’re being ignored. Totally seems more encompassing. I say it often because I just want them to feel it strongly, deeply and to trust it to their core.
I do the same to my husband. It’s so totally true. Every stage of our lives together has had that same complete love. There have been times where it has been a challenge. Times where it’s not as easy, but the depth and totality of it has seen me through those times. Him too I suspect.
So I hope in every way that these people feel loved unconditionally by me.
One day I hope I will feel that type of love deep down too. I’ve heard it said, but not felt it. I know that’s because you start to feel that by those that nurture you into your self confident and whole self that you’re meant to become. I haven’t got there yet. I never felt that from my mother. In my 50’s we had a conversation where I was told “I did love you when you were a child, in my own way”. That cannot in any way be construed as unconditional. When saying the words I love you to her when I was young, I was searching for confirmation. The response was almost always “You’d better”. Again that is not unconditional.
I wrote recently about the difference between love and need. That I have grown in my life to equate the two together. They have a unique bond in my mind and heart. It’s how I have justified the love my family say they have for me. They need me, or they have needed me, or they will need me. Sometimes it’s because they’re grateful for what I did for them when they needed me.
One day if I keep working on me, and this stuff that’s inside I might actually feel I’m loved unconditionally.
What a Valentines Day that will be!
In my current introspection state of 2020, it is making me think deeper. In the shower of course. Most of my deepest thoughts are there because it was one of the few places I could think as a live at home junior adult/child. Not for long, but there were moments.
So unconditional love. I’ve heard it said by people who leave their partners within a relatively short time. I’ve heard it said followed by the word “but” which always negates everything before it. I’ve heard it said by someone I know didn’t mean it, thankfully not to me.
I have loved unconditionally and I do love unconditionally. I often say to my kids I love them totally. I like that word better. It says it all. There is no part of them I don’t love. I love their tempers, their faults, their likes, dislikes, their stages of life that are difficult for both of us. Unconditionally sounds to me like there are conditions but they’re being ignored. Totally seems more encompassing. I say it often because I just want them to feel it strongly, deeply and to trust it to their core.
I do the same to my husband. It’s so totally true. Every stage of our lives together has had that same complete love. There have been times where it has been a challenge. Times where it’s not as easy, but the depth and totality of it has seen me through those times. Him too I suspect.
So I hope in every way that these people feel loved unconditionally by me.
One day I hope I will feel that type of love deep down too. I’ve heard it said, but not felt it. I know that’s because you start to feel that by those that nurture you into your self confident and whole self that you’re meant to become. I haven’t got there yet. I never felt that from my mother. In my 50’s we had a conversation where I was told “I did love you when you were a child, in my own way”. That cannot in any way be construed as unconditional. When saying the words I love you to her when I was young, I was searching for confirmation. The response was almost always “You’d better”. Again that is not unconditional.
I wrote recently about the difference between love and need. That I have grown in my life to equate the two together. They have a unique bond in my mind and heart. It’s how I have justified the love my family say they have for me. They need me, or they have needed me, or they will need me. Sometimes it’s because they’re grateful for what I did for them when they needed me.
One day if I keep working on me, and this stuff that’s inside I might actually feel I’m loved unconditionally.
What a Valentines Day that will be!
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