"I've got something to tell you"
Every person fears those words.
It's hardly ever used for happy things, and they tend to be the start of a life changing conversation.
In recent times there has been so much said about marriage equality, and the rights of every person to be married to the person they love. The law is not just about the right to marry as there are few legal benefits to the institution, and it's an institution with more holes than Swiss cheese. I've heard every argument for and against, and I remain convinced by the argument for. That's my choice.
Choices are what we make to create change, to have decisions, to pass laws and to get on with the job. We have choices that define us as people, but our fundamental core is not a choice. Call it DNA, call it programming, genetic ancestry, whatever title we give it we have no choice in it. I didn't choose to be half-Slovak. I didn't choose to have red hair and green eyes. And, I didn't choose to be straight.
Imagine that? Going through puberty and coming to the realisation that you were straight? It didn't happen to me that's for sure! At no pivotal moment did I stop and think "Wow! I am attracted to men!" followed by the next pivotal moments of "Oh my God! How will I tell my family and friends?" "Will my parents still accept me?" "Will my community accept me?" Now I'm not saying that realising you are gay is a light bulb moment either. Far from it. It's just the same as realising you are straight. You just are. But for some odd reason completely beyond my understanding there is a school of thought that people "decide" to be gay. Maybe we should decide to be good humans?
No I didn't have to do that because my core sexual self was straight, and I didn't have to announce it, especially not in the way that society expects gay people to announce it. We even have a term for it! "Coming out!" Now unless it's going to be like the 1900's debutante ball and we get to have a big party, dress up, have cake and dance the night away, there should be no need for such formalities. Just "be". I didn't have to ask for acceptance of my family and friends, and I could marry the person I love without anyone in a white concrete box in another part of Australia saying I could.
If you are any kind of good person, with or without religious beliefs and ideals you would never want another person to be in a position where they are forced to ask themselves those questions. To have them start a conversation with "I've got something to tell you".
I seriously worry about the children of these people with strong views on marriage inequality. Have these people stopped and looked inside their hearts and wondered how their social rhetoric of saying that transgender people are mentally ill, how gay people will destroy the sanctity of God's law and marriage if they are allowed to marry is going to affect their own child at some point? If that child will have to have that conversation starting with "I've got something to tell you". I also wonder if they will call into question their parents attitudes and ask why they did nothing to support equality, if they still believe in what they said at the time, remembering that their outbursts on social media will be seen well into their children's adult lives with a bit of a search. Will their family be destroyed by their own attitudes of today in the distant future of tomorrow?
I come from a long line of people who have been on the receiving end of inequality. Start with the Jewish ancestry during Eastern Europe in World War 2, go through to countless and greatly loved gay relatives both within the age of acceptance and sadly before that too. Even the trivial bits like being a "Ranga". The only thing that binds, combines and allows us all to be better human beings is love. The short phrase of "Love Is Love" that is being used in this current discussion on marriage equality really does sum it up. For the fearful, ignorant and dogma driven few who think that marriage equality will somehow lead to social degradation, I ask that you look at society now. Are we that perfect that allowing 2 people who love each other to get married will ruin us? I really, really doubt that!
So why is a middle-aged, straight woman married to her wonderful husband almost 32 years a passionate advocate for marriage equality? Why have I sacrificed career dollars as a marriage celebrant by refusing to gain my license? Why do I think this is important?
Because I don't like those conversations starting with "I've got something to tell you" that put families and individuals under pressure, individuals doubting their self worth and acceptance, that destroy a young person's circle of trust. I don't like people being made to feel different because of who they are at their core.
Because I love acceptance, kindness, marriage and happiness and I think every person is entitled to feel those things.
Love Is Love
It's hardly ever used for happy things, and they tend to be the start of a life changing conversation.
In recent times there has been so much said about marriage equality, and the rights of every person to be married to the person they love. The law is not just about the right to marry as there are few legal benefits to the institution, and it's an institution with more holes than Swiss cheese. I've heard every argument for and against, and I remain convinced by the argument for. That's my choice.
Choices are what we make to create change, to have decisions, to pass laws and to get on with the job. We have choices that define us as people, but our fundamental core is not a choice. Call it DNA, call it programming, genetic ancestry, whatever title we give it we have no choice in it. I didn't choose to be half-Slovak. I didn't choose to have red hair and green eyes. And, I didn't choose to be straight.
Imagine that? Going through puberty and coming to the realisation that you were straight? It didn't happen to me that's for sure! At no pivotal moment did I stop and think "Wow! I am attracted to men!" followed by the next pivotal moments of "Oh my God! How will I tell my family and friends?" "Will my parents still accept me?" "Will my community accept me?" Now I'm not saying that realising you are gay is a light bulb moment either. Far from it. It's just the same as realising you are straight. You just are. But for some odd reason completely beyond my understanding there is a school of thought that people "decide" to be gay. Maybe we should decide to be good humans?
No I didn't have to do that because my core sexual self was straight, and I didn't have to announce it, especially not in the way that society expects gay people to announce it. We even have a term for it! "Coming out!" Now unless it's going to be like the 1900's debutante ball and we get to have a big party, dress up, have cake and dance the night away, there should be no need for such formalities. Just "be". I didn't have to ask for acceptance of my family and friends, and I could marry the person I love without anyone in a white concrete box in another part of Australia saying I could.
If you are any kind of good person, with or without religious beliefs and ideals you would never want another person to be in a position where they are forced to ask themselves those questions. To have them start a conversation with "I've got something to tell you".
I seriously worry about the children of these people with strong views on marriage inequality. Have these people stopped and looked inside their hearts and wondered how their social rhetoric of saying that transgender people are mentally ill, how gay people will destroy the sanctity of God's law and marriage if they are allowed to marry is going to affect their own child at some point? If that child will have to have that conversation starting with "I've got something to tell you". I also wonder if they will call into question their parents attitudes and ask why they did nothing to support equality, if they still believe in what they said at the time, remembering that their outbursts on social media will be seen well into their children's adult lives with a bit of a search. Will their family be destroyed by their own attitudes of today in the distant future of tomorrow?
I come from a long line of people who have been on the receiving end of inequality. Start with the Jewish ancestry during Eastern Europe in World War 2, go through to countless and greatly loved gay relatives both within the age of acceptance and sadly before that too. Even the trivial bits like being a "Ranga". The only thing that binds, combines and allows us all to be better human beings is love. The short phrase of "Love Is Love" that is being used in this current discussion on marriage equality really does sum it up. For the fearful, ignorant and dogma driven few who think that marriage equality will somehow lead to social degradation, I ask that you look at society now. Are we that perfect that allowing 2 people who love each other to get married will ruin us? I really, really doubt that!
So why is a middle-aged, straight woman married to her wonderful husband almost 32 years a passionate advocate for marriage equality? Why have I sacrificed career dollars as a marriage celebrant by refusing to gain my license? Why do I think this is important?
Because I don't like those conversations starting with "I've got something to tell you" that put families and individuals under pressure, individuals doubting their self worth and acceptance, that destroy a young person's circle of trust. I don't like people being made to feel different because of who they are at their core.
Because I love acceptance, kindness, marriage and happiness and I think every person is entitled to feel those things.
Love Is Love
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